shyness is not a character flaw...

Last week we had Isabelle's last day at dance class, which in some ways, was a relief.  We really love the dance class and teacher but it was just a bit much for Isabelle, some weeks she did great but the majority of the time Isabelle was Isabelle - standing quietly in first position while all the other children hop along with the teacher, looking back with tears at times, and only really participating if mama got up and held her hand.  Sometimes I struggle with her shyness and ask myself if I am doing what is best for her - but at the end of the day...with the support of my family and friends...I know she is a wonderfully smart, sensitive, and yes a shy little lady.  I don't quite care for the thought of "don't call your kid shy...that will make her shy" mentality...instead we acknowledge and support isabelle as she is.  Don't get me wrong...we don't go around telling everyone she is shy in front of her, but try to make her feel comfortable with being shy...so that when she is ready to say hello to a stranger or talk to some new peers she will because she is ready...not because we are forcing her to.  My good friend reminded me of the fact that sitting back and observing is participating for some children - those words resonate and sometimes become a silent mantra as I watch isabelle watch other children....it's okay this is how SHE participates.  And I know that this is a phase...its just that in so many ways I can see myself in her...I love being social and having friends and know how important being apart of a community is for me...but it doesn't always come easy... I still get knots in my stomach when I meet new people...struggle with the right conversation to have...am filled with insecurities... blablabla.  I just want Isabelle to be happy and content with her social situation - so for now...we will keep working on small group social scenes where she does best...and keep playing tap and ballet athome until she is ready to have a second round at dance class..... because there is no doubt in my mind that she will want to go back to dance class to try again in the future.

isabelle with her new friend stevie at the museum

~

When you're worried, tell yourself the truth: Shyness is a strength to build on, not a character flaw to be stamped out. -  "shyness is not a character flaw" - at the Malvern school