{trying to be} a more mindful parent

So I told myself I wasn't going to go into any rants or deep sharing but I think once and a while I likely will - so go ahead and skip this post if you aren't interested - I won't even know...

Lately Isabelle has been becoming more independent, strong-willed, and clearly identifies what she wants and what she doesn't want (what is a good word for that...?).  Which in turn translates into: "I want to zip my coat"... and 45 minutes later still in the doctors waiting room sitting there patiently anxiously encouraging her to try again, "I need to wear my jelly shoes in the house"...even though we always take our shoes off at the door and I watch her stomp all the dirt out of her shoes on my *clean floor, and "I don't like pants I want to wear a dress with a skirt under it"...translating to she will only wear 1/8 of the clothes she has.

And while these things may not seem to be a big deal - and well they aren't - they tire me out and I become a less mindful parent.  I say things like "let me just do it", "if you wear those shoes in the house I'm taking them away forever", and "Isabelle if you don't put on the clothing now I'm taking away X".  (It should also be noted that I don't exactly say these things sweetly...rather just the opposite) Instead I am trying to work on re-phrasing..."Let's try to zip it up together or that first part is really hard maybe we could do it together", "see mommy take her shoes off, lets take them off together... if not lets go back outside and play a bit more", and "let's both get dressed - here is the outfit we picked out together last night...".

All these things seem easy enough right?  Wrong, for me anyways - sometimes I get so caught up in the whirl wind of transitioning back from work, making dinner, cleaning, etc that I lose myself and my ability to be mindful and respectful to Isabelle.  I want her to be independent, strong-willed, and a know what she wants type of girl.

And why am I sharing this?  Firstly, because it is 4:00 in the morning and I woke up thinking about it and well I suppose maybe one way to begin this journey of mindful parenting is to admit and own the way I have been parenting and share the way I hope to parent.  I don't mean to sound like I think I'm the worst parent in the world or that I don't practice mindful parenting (I don't think that), I think I can be better- more supportive, patient, less rushed, and to let Isabelle be Isabelle.

So what is the plan?  To really listen with love to what Isabelle's needs are, read some suggested books, talk to other parents, take deep breaths and compose myself, remind myself that I am my child's first teacher, maybe some meditation in there...not quite sure yet what the exact plan is...but I need to get my "parenting-self" in check.

goal: more of this (picture taken last year)